Director's Statement

Five years ago, I proposed making a documentary about the couple's unique parenting experience to Alan and Brian (who was my ASL teacher at the time), but their initial response was a firm “No” as they were, understandably, very cautious about being probed by the hearing world and already felt like they were under enough scrutiny by their families and society in general. I was made aware by many scholars that the Deaf community can be very exclusive—“if you don’t speak our language, you will be shut out.” Therefore, I practiced my signing tirelessly and eventually mastered the language. Meanwhile, I have been developing deaf sensibilities by making educational videos with deaf actors and actresses. At the end of 2017, I was invited by Alan and Brian to their family vacation in Florida and was informed that my request to tell their story was approved based on my work ethic and the understanding I have developed of their community. I hope my film “Loud Love” can demystify (mostly for the hearing world) how deaf people live their lives. The popular metaphor of using “silence” to describe the deaf only has explanatory power for the hearing. Their lives are far from silent but very loudly buzz, pop and roar, and the fundamental basis of communication is not sound, but connection. I also wish to challenge the very limiting norms of parenting—how other parents of different races, sexualities or cultural backgrounds, or with disabilities, SHOULD teach, discipline and love their children. It’s the myth of the “normal family”, so linear and absolute, that should be questioned and re-invented so that the society as a whole can recognize many types of personhood and parenthood. As a first-generation-immigrant gay-dad-to-be myself, I feel more and more drawn to this project, as I want to know: how does a child facing the burdens and shame imposed by societal norms, embrace a culture that is too often presented as “inferior”? And, from the viewpoint of the parent, pained by guilt and often inflexible unforgiving mainstream standards, how do you persistently love? I think we all share that, in one way or another.